the worst job in parenting

POTTY TRAINING: aka the worst job in parenting

 

 

i have been hesitant to write about kellen being potty trained because I didn't want to jinx it, any mom out there who has potty trained knows what i mean. but it has been a whole week now and i think things are pretty steady (fingers crossed).

 

i should probably start of by saying i have absolutely NO advice and i have NO idea how this happened.

 

i do know however, that when a kid is ready they are ready. i often look back at starting to train emma (at 23 months)and wish i would have waited a few more months until she could talk and understand better. but i by no means think that "ready" means they are asking to go potty out of the blue. kellen understood what was supposed to happen on the potty (from watching emma all the time) and just needed me to be firm in making him sit there and do it just once on the toilet so he could feel what going potty was. from then on he knew how to go even if it was just a dribble.

 

so here's how our week has gone...

 

last wednesday the kids were running through the sprinklers and emma came running in telling me kellen was poopy. that was an understatement. he had it up his back, down his legs, and on his hands.(why again do we waste money on swim diapers that keep nothing in?!)

i can't remember exactly what i was doing at the time but i completely lost it.. basically i told him poop is nasty and it goes in the potty and i am NEVER changing his poopy diapers EVER again. (and then i felt really bad about it later)

so i cleaned him up and put him on the potty and made him sit there until he went. he was already sobbing and i was fuming still so it wasn't too painful for me to just make him suck it up.

after probably about 30 min. he actually went a little so i put undies on and let him off. the rest of the day and the next day i kept taking him when he would start messing with himself and kept saying, "tell mommy when you have to go potty". he just went a tiny bit every time but we had no accidents until Friday morning...only because i didn't take him after he drank a whole glass of chocolate milk. that day he started actually telling me he had to go and went #2!!...this is where the spider man undies came about because i told him that we would go buy some once he did that in the potty.

we have been using diapers at night and nap time but he has been waking up dry 99% of the time...but i figure we will keep doing that until i finish off the diapers i literally just bought.

go figure.

on Saturday we went shopping all day so he wore a pull up but at Target he actually told me he had to go potty...twice! then later in the day he went at Mcdonalds and the gas station after telling me! i was a little bit taken back by all this but tying to keep my excitement to myself so i didn't jinx it. he started off having to go really often and only little bits but over a few days he learned how to get more out at a time.

 

so here i am now proud to say that we haven't had an accident since last Friday morning! the kid stinking tells me every time he has to go (even #2) and wakes up dry and stays dry for about 30 min. until he is ready to go in the mornings! he seriously has the "holding it" thing down so well and i don't even have to ask him anymore if he needs to go during the day.

 

i'm beyond amazed and i totally know this isn't usually how it goes with boys at such a young age (he just turned 2 in February) but man oh man am i happy to only have one kid in diapers!!!

 

thank you kellen for being SO easy with potty training....it makes up for your stubbornness with everything else in life, kind of. ; )

 

 

btw we use M&M's in different ways for a reward. like 1 for going pee and 2 for going #2. and when he was only going tiny bits at a time i would count as he pushed it out for longer and he got the amount of M&M's that i counted to (if that makes sense). and then obviously going to buy spiderman undies was the reward for going #2 the first time ever in the potty.

 

okay maybe I actually do have 1 tip to share...I have noticed that about 99% of the time my kids will stand up if they have to pee. so when i first start out training i typically sit my kids in front of the tv with snacks for a few days and stay right by them to keep watch for when they get up.

 

zone defense

Nicholas Sparks said it best in one of his books, "going from two kids to three kids is like changing from man on man defense to zone defense". 

we are slowly but surely figuring out how to play zone defense. 

well, it's rare these days that ALL three kids are dressed and their hair is done(probably because it takes a couple hours)...so i decided on saturday that i should snap a few pictures on my bed because we need to document these things! and maybe because they were all even matching to see the easter bunny : )

 yes, my children have tattoos....let's all thank their dad for that one.

thoughts on sharing

it's another one of "those" weeks like i had a few weeks ago where every day is exhausting. some how between babysitting, teaching preschool, cheer practice/meetings, visiting teaching, primary program practice & performance, a cheer clinic, and football game, i have actually managed to keep up with the laundry and dishes {and it's wednesday!}...i can't hardly even do that on a slow week. 

so in the chaos of it all, like i said, i have been watching two sisters for a few days for a friend. that's where the sharing thoughts come in. 

let me just start off with saying that originally i came up with my "sharing policy" a while ago when i read this article. 

i thought it was genius and exactly how i felt about sharing with my own kids. but since kellen is still young i kind of make emma share sometimes just for the sheer fact of my sanity. 

but when a 7 year old and a 3 year old are added to the mix i sure am glad that i already had established my house rule on sharing. here's how sharing is handled at our house....

if someone is playing with a toy they do not have to give it up just because someone asks them to share. they do however have to be polite about it and say that then they are done playing with it then the other child may have a turn. 

once a toy is left on the ground then it is free for anyone else to pick up and play with. 

and my reasoning is just like the article says, "I think it does a child a great disservice to teach him that he can have something that someone else has,simply because he wants it."

now of course there are exceptions{aren't there always?}

when a child has to use the restroom they may bring me the toy to save it until they are done.

the same thing may also be done if i ask them to do something like eat dinner or do a chore.

this is simply because i don't want accidents or whining just because they are afraid they will lose the toy they are playing with.

and a few more parts i loved...

"It's hard, as with so many things about parenthood, but let's teach our kids how to cope with disappointment, because it happens. And we won't always be there to fix it for them. Let's teach them how they can get things they want through diligence, patience and hard work."

"...this is not how things work in the real world. In your child's adult life, he's going to think he's owed everything he sees. This is already happening in the next generation. I read a fascinating article about how today's teens and twenty-somethings are expecting raises and promotions at their jobs for reasons like, "I show up every day."

i'd love to hear what other "sharing policies" are being used and out there!

my perfect weekend

on wednesday evening i called trevor to see how much longer he would be golfing and about in tears told him, "oh and can you please plan on putting the kids to be when you get home because i need to leave or something. and by the way there is nothing for dinner so don't ask." 

thankfully he got the hint and came home, loaded the kids up for dinner at rupe's drive in {because naturally i was still in pajamas}, we ate as the kids watched a movie in the car, came home and he put them down for bed. 

on our drive i was wondering what the heck was wrong with me{besides the obvious reason that i am hormonal and 15 weeks pregnant}and i realized for 3 weeks straight trevor has had to work/be at his rotations. that means 3 weeks straight {including saturdays & sundays} of only having him home for an hour here or there in between things or sometimes gone all day until after the kids were in bed. 

i was worn down and worn out. 

don't get me wrong i am SOOOO grateful for all the hard work he puts in for our family to provide for us...i just needed some away from the kids time. 

so again i gave a not so subtle hint and said "i need a date night, like friday, and no kids allowed."

so after some plans fell through with a trip to burley for trevor to golf, he made new plans. 

amazing plans.

my incredible mother in law met us in pocatello for the evening to go out to dinner and then she took the kids home with her...to burley...for the entire weekend!!!

so i got two date nights, two days of sleeping in, and spent saturday and sunday completely alone watching conference. although doing it with my hubbs would have been the icing on the cake, i was completely content sitting on the couch and not doing anything for anyone for two days straight : )

so that my friends was my perfect weekend. 

now i am spiritually and physically uplifted and headed to go pick up my kiddos...because really, i truly did miss them.

if you are interested in knowing more about conference check it out here!

don't cry over spilled milk...or powerade

today i had a big, fat, realization...and not a good one. 

i am a mean mom. 

okay, we'll i don't mean all the time {at least i hope not} but the past few days i have caught myself countless times losing it over the silliest things like emma spilling an entire cup of powerade on the floor{that i just mopped yesterday} because in my brain i am like, "what the heck. you are almost four. can't you sit still and eat your lunch like a big kid?!" 

and after my anger gets out and she feels beyond awful then i realize, "no, you mean mom. she is four. not ten." 

just another ah-ha moment to remind me that kids are kids and they are supposed to make messes and mistakes because that's how they learn. 

more importantly that's how we learn.

we're all just mom's, dad's, co-workers, husbands, wives, students, children, etc.

making one mistake after another all for the purpose of learning. 

now i am prying that the next time something happens i can say to myself, "cool it. you're twenty-four. act like an adult instead of freaking out." because in all reality my reaction is teaching her how to react when things happen. 

so here's to being a better mom and better example, one step at a time. 

{after} grocery shopping tips

monday's are my grocery shopping days. for us it works better than the traditional saturday because a.) grocery stores are pretty empty monday mornings and b.) we would eat all the snacks/food on the weekends and have nothing left for the week. 

now, i'm not the best advice giver on the actual grocery shopping trip because i am THE worst at actually sticking to my list but i have a few tricks that have made life easier as far as actually eating the food i buy. 

Tip #1

 remove old left overs and expired food from fridge and wipe out. 

a clean fridge helps things feel fresh and actually helps me eat better. if my fridge is looking dirty then  nothing inside looks appealing to eat. it is a must once a week in our house. 

Tip #2 

make healthy snacks accessible and ready to eat.

if your grapes aren't washed and in an open container chances are half of them will go old before they get eaten. same goes for washing other fruits and veggies. no child {or husband} wants to put in the effort when looking for a quick snack. 

 Tip #3

cut off the tops of the snack boxes. 

this makes one less step for you when you need to grab a few quick snacks to throw in the diaper bag and who actually likes closing the tabs on the tops of theses boxes anyways?

Tip #4

open the bags in snack boxes. 

for things like vanilla wafers, cheez-its, and gold fish i open the boxes and then cut the bags open before i put them in the cupboard. one less step later, easy access, and the bag gets opened correctly instead of ripped down the side. 

this goes for cereal bags too!

Tip #5

make a food list to put on the fridge.

i usually just have a lit of the meals i have planned for the week {in no particular order} but some weeks when i am feeling extra ambitious i make a snack list too. for husbands older kids it is especially helpful so your not hearing the phrase "there's nothing to eat in here!"

crazy mom syndrome

crazy mom syndrome- a condition that occurs when a women has been around her children for an extended amount of time without a break.
                               

i strongly believe that the cure for "crazy mom syndrome" is to just get away. sometimes all you need is a little over the counter drug like going grocery shopping alone or a date night. but sometimes you need something stronger and that's when you write yourself a prescription for a weekend away from the kids.

lucky for me trevor, his mom and i bought him tickets to the real salt lake vs. la galaxy game back in February for his birthday. it could not have come at a more perfect time for me or him. so after emma's soccer game, my 5k {finished in under 30min!}and a round of golf, trevor and i packed up and headed to salt lake!

we headed straight to the game and loved every minute of it even though landon donovan didn't get to play{trevor's favorite player}. the we went and checked into our room for the night {trevor's grandma's time share RIGHT on temple square}and proceeded to walk around down town salt lake at 10:30 at night before finding a cute little cafe to eat dinner. 

sunday morning we went to music and the spoken word on temple square. it was my first time and absolutely amazing!

 then we walked around temple square. it was the most perfect weather.

and my breath was taken away by the thousands of beautiful flowers!

yes, my children drive me insane sometimes and every once in a while i just need an extended break but i am always happy to come home refreshed and see my little crazies again. 

and a shout out to my mother in law who is always SO willing to watch these kiddos!

it's okay because...

sometimes i am a control freak with my kids. among other things like how the bed is made, the towels are folded, and when the kids go down for the night. i mean, i'm the mom so it's my right. right?

this week i have tired my best to let it go. 

it's okay if trevor wakes kellen up just after he fell asleep because he hasn't seen him once that day.

it's okay if the dishes aren't done because we spent all day outside. 

it's okay if emma wants to eat corn dogs every day for lunch.

it's okay if kellen plays in the dirt. 

its' okay if spending time as a family means a late night drive to the gas station for some snacks. 

it is all okay because life isn't perfect. no matter how many times i catch myself thinking it should be. thinking that everything needs to be in it's exact place, the kids should be clean and presentable every second of the day, and that i'm not a good mom/wife unless things are "just so". 

it's okay because kellen knows to fold his arms when we pray and always says thank you.

it's okay because emma reminds me that i need to answer her with a "yes ma'am" because that's what i expect of her. 

it's okay because along the way they are learning the important stuff and that is all that matters.

via

currently i have about 5 loads of laundry to fold, 3 bags to pack, and emma is not in bed.

tomorrow i am running a 5k and have ran less than 10 times in the past 5 months(three of them being this week) and never longer then 2 miles....but it's okay because trevor and i are leaving the kids with grandma and getting the heck out of dodge tomorrow afternoon. 



just remember to take a deep breath because you are an awesome mom and it's all going to be okay.



you're not a terrible parent if...

how is it that one day your can accomplish SO much and feel like "mom of the year" and the next you just can't seem to get off the couch? 

story. of. my. life. 

i was just over reading and here's to you, Mrs. Robinson and she had the best article link on her page.

find it here

basically this is exactly what i need to read...

"If you are a parent of small children, you know that there are moments of spectacular delight, and you can’t believe you get to be around these little people. But let me be the one who says the following things out loud:

You are not a terrible parent if you can’t figure out a way for your children to eat as healthy as your friend’s children do. She’s obviously using a bizarre and probably illegal form of hypnotism.

You are not a terrible parent if you yell at your kids sometimes. You have little dictators living in your house. If someone else talked to you like that, they’d be put in prison.

You are not a terrible parent if you can’t figure out how to calmly give them appropriate consequences in real time for every single act of terrorism that they so creatively devise.

You are not a terrible parent if you’d rather be at work.

You are not a terrible parent if you just can’t wait for them to go to bed.

You are not a terrible parent if the sound of their voices sometimes makes you want to drink and never stop.

You’re not a terrible parent."

could it have been put any better? i think not. 

i am seriously guilty of saying, "i just can't stand her {emma's} voice anymore!" 

emma is a talker and i am thankful that it helps her to be outgoing and make friends with anyone but when i am the only person to talk to. man it gets hard. 

like popping advil daily kind of hard.  

kids really are great but in those crazy moments it is so easy to forget

so here's to my kids...

emma i love that you.... are such a good helper with your brother, tell me you love me multiple times a day, want to be independent, are a good sleeper, let me do your hair, try and dress yourself, want to play every sport just like your dad.

kellen i love that you...are a snuggler, laugh at your sisters craziness, say hi to everyone around, act silly to make people laugh, try so hard to do everything emma is doing, know just when to give hugs and kisses.

good days really do make up for the bad ones, even if they are few and far between. 

a case of the mondays

today i had it bad. a case of the mondays. we even fell asleep on the couch at 8pm last night. what is my problem?! sometimes i just don't want to get up to a crying baby. sometimes i just don't want to get emma her daily morning "chocolate milk"{pediasure}. sometimes i just want someone else to do it and i want to sleep in.

but being a mom isn't about what i want. really ever. so what do you do when you have a case of the mondays?








1.do something for yourself- i took a shower today
2. pick up the house- this was hard but a messy house just makes my mood worse
3. plan something- today is grocery shopping day so i used this awesome template to make a list. lists make me happy.

when the kids get up from nap time we are having a monday re-do.

via

Being a mom.

Being a mom is crazy, hard, silly, fun, testing, joyful, stressful, and every other whirlwind of emotion you can think of. Some days I think about putting my degree to use, maybe not full time, but just something to feel some sort of return or fulfillment...not to mention the financial benefits while Trevor is in school.

Just about every single time I talk to my dad he asks when I am going to apply for teaching jobs...I come from a hard working family where EVERYONE works to contribute their part. So being a full time stay at home mom with out doing ANYTHING else is kinda breaking the mold. Lots of things have been running through my head lately and it has been hard to sort out. Well Stake Conference today laid it all out for me.

I have NEVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE heard such a stern warning about staying home to raise your children. Our stake president started off saying that he did not want to give this talk and has been wrestling with it for months. He proceeded to tell all women that they need to give up anything to stay at home with their children including downsizing houses, cars, wardrobes, etc. He said doing so will welcome immediate and long lasing blessings. It sure was a wake up call to stop looking for something outside of the home to give me fulfillment. My kids NEED me and their eternal salvation depends on me being the one constant in their lives. Talk about huge!

I am so thankful for our church leaders and answered prayers. The gospel is true!!! : )

Thoughts.

Just read this on a friends blog and it was EXACTLY what I needed to read...

"I had just swept the final collection into the pile.”Pretzels, captain crunch, popcorn, cheerios, chips…” I spouted off to anyone listening. “Nope. I didn’t eat any of these things,” I continued, as I brushed the last of the pile into the dustpan.

The only person listening at the table said quietly, “It’s the mother’s atonement.”

I straightened up, “What?”

He spoke louder and clearer now between bites of breakfast, “It’s the mother’s atonement.”

I stood silently with a pause hanging in the air. He swallowed and continued, “It’s what mother’s do.

They spend their life cleaning up messes for everyone else, messes that they had no hand in making.”

The observance was profound to me. It would seem that I should have been filled for a moment with pride considering that my job of sweeping their crumbs was more Christlike than I had ever considered. Yet, almost immediately, I felt a rushing wave of guilt.

I cowered from the comparison. How many times had I commented out loud, under my breath, to my spouse, or simply in my mind the list of things that I had done for my children? Wanting, for a small moment, for them to recognize and be grateful. It shouldn’t seem wrong to desire my children to be grateful, but in that moment of clarity, I saw that my gratitude requirement was more about me receiving some type of praise or return on my service than it was about them changing their hearts.

Christ never required praise. He never asked for it. He never wanted it.

I can recall conversations with my teenage children where they, in an attempt to get out of a work request, listed off all of the things they had done for me recently. I would then make a conversation-ending comment like,”Well if you’d like to compare service lists we can, and you’d lose, so get to work!”

We’d always had a good laugh about it, but as these thoughts raced through my head Sunday morning with a broom still in my hand, the humor was lost on me. My motives were rarely pure enough for the comparison my husband had just made. The Savior has never offered up a list to compare what He had brought to the table vs. what I had brought. I would lose every time. I know that. But He would never do that.

That Sunday morning comment awoke me to a new mothering concept. Mothering as He would. Not for praise. Not for recognition. Not for a hug, a kiss, or even a thank you. Not because I can’t stand a dirty floor or because someone coming for a visit might see the display of animalistic behavior my children can exhibit. Not for any type of compensation.

Sweeping up crumbs because that’s what He did. With a perfect love.

All that He did and all that He was in His life pointed us to understand the true nature of His Father, our Father. The glory was to be pointed there. It was never about Him. He swept up the crumbs, mended the broken, and made no comment or had any thought as to who was responsible. He cleaned up our messes infinitely with the perfect love of the Father, so that we could come to know Him.

My job as a mother is to point them to the Savior, who will then point them to the Father. Christlike mothering isn’t about what I’ve done for them. It’s about what heart I did it with.

When I show my children who He is through my actions and my heart, then, and only then, can I consider the mother’s atonement applicable to me. Only then do I feel like I am participating in Christlike Mothering.

source

Happy Monday!

Easy Peasy

This little boy has been easy going from the labor and delivery room. (cross your fingers it stays that way) Monday morning I woke up around 6am with back pain but kinda blew it off until about 7 when I thought that I needed to get up an walk around to make my back feel better. I didn't really know if I was having contraction or not. Trevor woke up soon after to get ready for school. He had a test to take a 9 and at 8 I told him he really should go that I would call the hospital soon and talk to a nurse. I decided to shower and get things together just in case and the pain got stronger and closer. I was pretty sure I was in labor but didn't want to drive all the way to Pocatello just to be sent home. Around 8:45 I called the hospital and the nurse said it sounded like I was in labor and could head in to get checked.

By the time I packed up the car, in between contractions, I was really wishing I hadn't told Trev to go to school. Then I got in the car and NO gas. So I went and filled up enough to get me from Blackfoot to Pocatello and drove a LONG 25 min. to the hospital. I do not recomend any woman in labor to do this. EVER. I was just hoping and praying that I wouldn't have this baby on the side of the highway alone.

I finally got there and luckily had the best nurse ever. She saw me walking in down the hall and just showed me right to a room. When she checked me I was already to 6 cm and 100% thinned. I told her I wanted and epidural asap and unfortunately I had to wait for a bag of fluids to get in me first. I called Trev and told him how far I was and said he needed to hurry up. He was quite confused that it was all happening so fast since we were both expecting to be induced that night.
Trevor finally got there around 10:45 and the epidural man soon followed around 11:15. The nurse checked me and I was 8cm by then and I was having strong contractions. I was freaking out a bit because I was scared they wouldn't be able to give me an epidural. Luckily he got it done and I was finally able to relax. Props to women who do it natural...I would have died.

Well the nurse and Trev had a bet that he would be here by 12:30 and around 12:20 I was all ready to push and 10 min. later at 12:31pm he was here!Everything went so fast and easy (besides the contractions) that I could hardly believe it was all over. I felt tired but great after and still feel tired but great.

Emma loves her new little brother but most the time just does her own thing. She is getting way too much cartoon watching in these days and I am trying hard to figure out how to balance things while being so tired all the time. Buster (our dog) is kinda getting the shaft and he is pretty jealous...i just really don't have too much sympathy for animals though.

Kellen is sleeping all the time still and that makes life a little easier. He goes 3-4 hour stretches at night which is so nice. He has been a great eater but not very great at gaining weight. We are working on getting him back to his birth weight...at 1 week old he was down to 7 lbs 14 oz. Monday is his 2 week apt. and circumcision which I am NOT looking forward to.

Soon I will put up some pictures that I took of him at 2 days old....until then we are just trying to make it one day at a time!

Kellen Gary

Kellen Gary Dschaak
8 lb 10 oz
20 in.
February 13, 2012
12:31 pm

we are crazy.

if baby boy is not here by the 13th i officially am scheduled to be induced that day! did i mention i am SO done being pregnant.

as for real big super exciting news.....we are moving. we might just be nuts but i am actually excited. we found a great HOUSE....let me say that again...a HOUSE for rent in Blackfoot. it is a great deal and newly remodeled with a fenced in yard. i am beyond excited to leave apartment living behind and live in a neighborhood! as for the crazy part, we have to be out of our apt by the end of the month. i'll just have a baby and pack and move all in a few weeks. no biggie.

next post WILL have pictures of baby boy. let's stay positive, people.

Life

Usually I only post if I have pictures to add but right now I just thought I would document life. I am about 34 weeks and so done with being pregnant. Still no name picked out, no nursery set up and practically nothing has been bought. But I am still ready for him to come, like now.

Emma is as sassy as ever and I can't help but laugh every time she says "my gosh". She loves to kiss my belly and say "baby brudder". Buster has actually warmed up to her and they play together all day long while I lay around like a large pregnant lady should. right?

And one last little thing to note. Having a puppy to potty train is way easier than a toddler. Emma is practically potty trained but today she peed MAJOR in the front room and all the way down the hall to the bathroom. SERIOUSLY? Oh and she refuses to wear underwear that aren't spongebob. Silly little girl.

I will eventually get around to a Chrismas post and the lovely adventure we had on the greyhound bus to Kansas. Haha. That's a joke.

Off to make some much needed chocolate chip cookies. You should too. We all deserve it.

Chopped

welp, i did it and so far i have no regrets.