teaching an "i can" attitude

i have notice lately that emma says "i can't" like 50 times a day. at first it was just annoying and i figured she just didn't want to do what i was asking/telling her to do. then after seeing her reaction to actually doing something she said "i can't" to at first,  i realized that most of the time she actually believes that she can't do something.

after much thought over the past few weeks i have come to realize that most of this is my fault. 

you see, emma is my first born and a girl. that combination=over protective mom.

i have told her way too many times that she can't do things because she is too little, may get hurt, or worse....dirty! all this time i thought i was protecting her but now it seems to have backfired and she has an "i can't" attitude.

it's kind of interesting to me that i am just now figuring this all out and i think it is actually because of kellen. since he is a boy and all i let him pretty much do whatever he wants like play in the dog water, dig in the dirt, climb anything he thinks he can and feed himself messy foods. he is only one and has probably had more bumps and bruises than emma. now the kid thinks he is king of the world, is determined and can master most things he puts his mind to. 

unfortunately i can't take back the 3 1/2 years of over protective parenting with emma but i can help to rebuild her confidence now. i need to teach her that clothes wash and scrapes heal as long as you are trying your best it's all okay. i want her to feel the sense of accomplishment when she does something hard, even if it is just climbing the ladder at the park. i want her to actually believe that she can do anything she sets her mind to. so for now i am going to help her, push her, and believe in her until she can learn for herself that she can do hard things.

via

you're not a terrible parent if...

how is it that one day your can accomplish SO much and feel like "mom of the year" and the next you just can't seem to get off the couch? 

story. of. my. life. 

i was just over reading and here's to you, Mrs. Robinson and she had the best article link on her page.

find it here

basically this is exactly what i need to read...

"If you are a parent of small children, you know that there are moments of spectacular delight, and you can’t believe you get to be around these little people. But let me be the one who says the following things out loud:

You are not a terrible parent if you can’t figure out a way for your children to eat as healthy as your friend’s children do. She’s obviously using a bizarre and probably illegal form of hypnotism.

You are not a terrible parent if you yell at your kids sometimes. You have little dictators living in your house. If someone else talked to you like that, they’d be put in prison.

You are not a terrible parent if you can’t figure out how to calmly give them appropriate consequences in real time for every single act of terrorism that they so creatively devise.

You are not a terrible parent if you’d rather be at work.

You are not a terrible parent if you just can’t wait for them to go to bed.

You are not a terrible parent if the sound of their voices sometimes makes you want to drink and never stop.

You’re not a terrible parent."

could it have been put any better? i think not. 

i am seriously guilty of saying, "i just can't stand her {emma's} voice anymore!" 

emma is a talker and i am thankful that it helps her to be outgoing and make friends with anyone but when i am the only person to talk to. man it gets hard. 

like popping advil daily kind of hard.  

kids really are great but in those crazy moments it is so easy to forget

so here's to my kids...

emma i love that you.... are such a good helper with your brother, tell me you love me multiple times a day, want to be independent, are a good sleeper, let me do your hair, try and dress yourself, want to play every sport just like your dad.

kellen i love that you...are a snuggler, laugh at your sisters craziness, say hi to everyone around, act silly to make people laugh, try so hard to do everything emma is doing, know just when to give hugs and kisses.

good days really do make up for the bad ones, even if they are few and far between.